Ask the Expert Dr. Kathleen Wells is a professional career coach and Director of Coaches That Care. She has coached thousands of clients through the stages of successful career development. Finding Balance Between Work and Family Q: Dear Dr. Wells, I have worked myself into a career corner. I have a lot of energy, initiative and bring results. There is something compulsive about my work style that makes me want to turn things around and achieve. An employer's dream, right? Well, my company thinks so too and have promised me a stunning career with rapid advancement. However, I am also the mom of three kids with a husband who also works full-time. I don't know how to cool the career climb so that I can avoid the constant pressures to perform (meet expectations based on my prior performance) and have a balanced career/life situation. It seems like in our company, a person is either a worker bee or a climber. Do you have any advice on an approach to revise an employer's expectations without killing my long-term career potential? Jana A: Dear Jana, Balance -- that is a trick in a career/family situation. My first suggestion is to think through and put in order of importance your priorities, i.e., family, career, fun time. Then plan what kind of time commitment you can and want to make to each. Then comes the tricky part--stick to the limits you set for yourself. Be realistic in your goal setting. Don't plan a 40-hour work week and try to cram 60 hours worth of work into it or you'll be learning to live with ulcers. Set a reasonable goal. Talk to your immediate supervisors and see if your goals can match theirs. See if you can continue to grow and benefit them within the time constraints you are placing on the career portion of your life. Compartmentalization is not easy, but you need to be able to devote yourself to family and career separately and, as much as possible, not let one bleed over into the other. To make the balancing act easier, get the whole family involved in your plan. Pay to have done any of the things that steal family time from you like housework, laundry or yard work. Pay someone else to do as much as possible so your family time can be fun, quality time not a time spent trying to catch up on household chores. Finally, if your present employer is not allowing you to benefit their company at your pace, you might have to consider a career change. Hopefully, they will support your desire to be the best in both arenas of your life. If not, find someone who is. If you have not surfed the archives of BlueSuitMom, do so. They have had some wonderful articles in the past about how to balance your life, family, career, etc. (Click here for more article about finding balance. ) Good luck and best wishes, Kathleen Wells