 |
|
Ask the Expert: Finding Balance Natalie Gahrmann is a success coach and owner of N-R-G Coaching Associates, a private coaching company that specializes in helping working parents achieve mastery of work and life. Her clients experience more clarity, direction and alignment while reducing stress in their busy lives.
Finding Time to Do It AllBecky writes, "I am a mother of three: 11 yr old boy, 23 month old girl, 3 week old girl. I have a strong will to conquer the homemaking skill. I am an engineer by education, and work part time in the military doing search and rescue. Both of which are easy compared to full time mama!! I've quit my engineer position and am committed to being a mom and finding a job more cohesive to my choices in putting motherhood's time first. However, I am completely at a loss in the motherhood balance as it is. Help help. Specifically, how on earth does one breastfeed, play with a toddler, teach valuable life skills to an eleven year old, clean the house, cook breakfast lunch, and dinner, shop, and stay physically fit and mentally sharp, oh and lets not forget shave the legs and do the hair all in a days work?"Answer: Although you may be feeling a bit overwhelmed right now, the good news is that with some time, prioritization and organizing your life will seem much easier soon. With a 3-week-old, you and your family are still adapting to the needs a new baby brings. Use the skills you have as an engineer (and mom) to design a plan that will work for your family. What worked for me was to hold my 2-year-old on my other side and read to him while I was breastfeeding my daughter. This may work for you while your son is in school during the day. When your son is home, he can entertain your other daughter while you feed the baby. Is it possible for you to use the downtime during breastfeeding as a chance to bond with your other children, to relax and connect not only with your new baby but with your other children, as well? For a busy mom like you, your breastfeeding time may wind up being the only time you sit still long enough to have a warm conversation with your older child, to snuggle with your toddler, etc. Use this time in inventive ways! You mention also that you want to teach your son life skills. You have a great opportunity to do that by having him be more involved in the household tasks and responsible for specific activities. You can teach your son to be independent by having him help prepare and clean up after meals, change the baby's diapers, pick up around the house, and, entertain your other children. Your son can learn many valuable life skills by simply participating in the household responsibilities. Skills like motivation, effort, initiative, caring, common sense, teamwork, problem solving, confidence and motivation can all be learned from his experience as the big brother. Children need thinking skills, they need to know how to solve problems, they need the will and drive to learn to be prepared for life. Step back and gain a new perspective about your life. Start creating routines that help you get into a rhythm. Determine what is absolutely most important to you and focus on these priorities. For you it may be critical to shave your legs everyday, however, on the other hand, it may be something you can delay and do later in the week during some special time you preserve just for you. See where you can simplify your life, meals, shopping and cleaning to make those tasks more effortless. Examine the activities in your life and determine which absolutely must be done by you, which can be delegated and which don't need to be done at all. Stop trying to do it all yourself. Ask for and accept help. Feeling so busy and pressured to do everything may result in neglecting your own care. However, it is critical to make sure you get adequate sleep and eat a healthy diet. It's also important that you preserve time for you alone, and for you with your spouse amidst your busy schedule. You'll find in the weeks ahead you will be able to relax more and establish schedules and routines. Focus on what's possible and experiment to determine what works best for you and your family. Be prepared to ask for specifically what you need from others.
Also see:
|
|
|