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Ask the Expert: Finding Balance Natalie Gahrmann is a success coach and owner of N-R-G Coaching Associates, a private coaching company that specializes in helping working parents achieve mastery of work and life. Her clients experience more clarity, direction and alignment while reducing stress in their busy lives.
Working vs. Staying at HomeJody writes, "We have two kids and I've always been a working mom. I love my job and would never want to give it up. However, lately my husband has been insisting that it would be better for our children if I quit my job and made raising our two daughters my full-time occupation. How should I handle this?"Answer: It is critically important that you and your husband each have an opportunity to feel fully heard. This issue should not be about power and control. Be prepared to discuss your reasons for working. Obviously, you get a pay check, but what other intrinsic and extrinsic rewards do you receive as a result of having a job you love. What do you get out of work? What will you sacrifice by giving up work you love? Take some time to reflect on these questions so that you have clarity and can articulate your rationale. And for your husband, what has prompted a change of heart for him? Are the children being adequately cared for? Is he feeling inept at being able to care for the family? What's up with him? How can you alleviate his concerns and discontent with you working full-time? What other alternatives can you explore that will help address the issues at hand for the two of you? After you have each had ample opportunity to fully express your needs, thoughts, desires, and concerns be sure you understand your partner's issues, as well. It's important to negotiate a win-win. Be open and experiment with different arrangements to find what works best for you and your family. If one of you feels like you've 'lost' the battle, then you will all ultimately end up losing. Don't dig your heals in on this one--open up your ears and truly understand the issues. Too often, people leave their careers and then end up finding that they're missing out on feeling an individual sense of accomplishment and self-fulfillment. Partners who feel better about themselves can offer more to each other and to their family. Therefore, if you wind up leaving work, find other ways to achieve fulfillment and avoid letting resentments build. Warmly, Coach Natalie
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