Ask the Expert: Finding Balance Natalie Gahrmann is a success coach and owner of N-R-G Coaching Associates, a private coaching company that specializes in helping working parents achieve mastery of work and life. Her clients experience more clarity, direction and alignment while reducing stress in their busy lives. Managing the House While Away on Travel Mary Ann writes, "A couple times a month I have to go out of town for work. It's always hard to leave my husband and children, I feel guilty the whole time. I know my kids miss me and my husband has to pick up the slack from my absence. Do you have any suggestions for making things run more smoothly at home and ways to reduce my guilt?" Answer: Whether you travel frequently, or only occasionally, business travel can be hard on your kids, your spouse and on you. If the thought of taking another business trip makes you shudder, it may be time to re-negotiate the frequency of your trips. Gaining some control over your travel schedule can make you more effective on the trips you do take. If possible, plan your trips around the important events in your family life so that you don't miss the big recital, playoff game, first day of school, graduation, etc. Look into using technology when possible as a substitute for a face-to-face trip. Send a suitable substitute to represent you and the company on the less important business trips. No matter how much you try to rise above the emotions of guilt, sadness, fear, and possibly even elation and freedom, chances are that they will remain a fact of business travel for you. Your feelings of guilt and apprehension may not go away entirely, but having the ability to call the shots on travel may make things more bearable. You can find ways to minimize the anxieties by staying connected and in touch while you are traveling. Often, your kids feel left out regardless of if you're away from home for one night, or many. You can help reinforce your love and commitment to your family when you are not with them by doing some of the following: Before the Trip Get a book about the place you are visiting and read it together with your children. Leave it behind so that they can look at it again while you are gone. Older children can be shown where you are going on a map, globe, atlas, almanac, or on-line. Help them learn about where you are going and be sure to spend time answering their questions. If it's possible, consider bringing your kids along from time-to-time (also bring a babysitter to look after them while you are tied up) Tape a favorite book, song or bedtime story (in your voice!) that can be played in your absence. Create a set of countdown cards to be used 3-4 days prior to your trip so that your children can see the number of days lefts before you leave. Keep them displayed in a prominent location and be sure to mark the date on your family calendar, too. Let your children help you pack. Ask them to give you a small thing of theirs that you can take with you so that you have pieces of home. Also, give them something of yours they can hold onto until you return. Keep these physical things handy as a way of re-connecting. (We often slip in photos, drawings and personal notes too!) During the Trip Stay in touch with your kids while you are on the road. Send them faxes, emails, postcards, and call them at least once per day, if possible. It helps kids stay connected, feel remembered and special. It also helps you feel connected to their life. Be aware of what makes you the most upset on business trips and find constructive ways to manage that more effectively. After the Trip If you're not returning too late at night, let the kids stay up to greet you when you get in. Very often, the children will fall asleep while waiting, but the thrill and anticipation is still very exciting and special for them. If your husband is preparing a special welcome home meal, have him let the kids help in the preparations. Discuss the events that you missed while you were away and let your kids have your undivided attention while they re-tell their experiences. Also see: • Ask Natalie a question • More Q&A • If you're interested in work/life coaching, you can reach Natalie at (908) 281-7098 or via email