Ask the Expert: Finding Balance

Natalie Gahrmann is a success coach and owner of N-R-G Coaching Associates, a private coaching company that specializes in helping working parents achieve mastery of work and life. Her clients experience more clarity, direction and alignment while reducing stress in their busy lives.

Work/Life Balance

Kim writes, "I am recently divorced with 2 boys (3 and 6). My ex-husband is a great father and we split custody. However, it still seems that I am not giving my home life the attention it needs. I have my own business and it is struggling to stay a float and I only work 45 hours a weeks so I don't think I am over doing it. But I just can't seem to get away from business. At home, I make phone calls, lists, and constantly think about what I need to do to make my business better, so I can pay attention to my home life like I should."

Answer: It sounds like you are not using your time efficiently at work and the lines between work and home are often blurred together. Creating clear boundaries will help you delineate the space between work and home. It will also help you honor yourself more and stop the negative messages you keep sending to yourself about not being good enough. You can reverse this negative pattern by establishing a strong sense of home and family, building happier memories, and by beginning to feel better about yourself and your boys. What you'll need to do is to develop your personal qualities, self-discipline, orderliness, commitment, organization, planning, and creativity. You may also need to develop a stronger support network now that you are essentially a single mom. Begin working smarter!

Create some specific personal and business goals for yourself and begin making changes and seeking steady improvement to your situation. Learn to look, not for a solution to every challenge you face, but for a process--a way of addressing these challenges that you can use over and over again to increase your confidence and abilities to handle the difficulties. Start combating some of the challenges you are facing by shifting your perspective (keep a healthier perspective); rethink the shoulds, coulds, have to's, and if onlys in your life and replace them with what you truly want and desire; acknowledge and accept your reality and current situation; recognize your limitations; have a more positive attitude; and, align your personal and business life with your priorities and values.

The stress of balancing work and family seems to be making you feel out of control. It is negatively affecting your health and self-esteem. Start increasing your feeling of being in control and it will enhance your ability to cope and feel better about yourself. The end result is that you'll be a more productive worker and a more loving parent. Also, implement strategies in your business that help you improve results without working longer hours. Seek guidance from a mentor or business coach who can help you stay focused and on-track toward achieving the results you want at home and in your business.

Best regards, Coach Natalie

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• If you're interested in work/life coaching, you can reach Natalie at (908) 281-7098 or via email