May's Mom of the Month
 |
Name: Jessica Schwartz
Occupation: Senior Communications Officer, Wallace-Reader's Digest Funds
Children: Jacob, 12; Eli, 9
What is your professional background?
I am currently the Senior Communications Officer for the Wallace-Reader's Digest Funds, a national foundation devoted to the arts, education and communities as centers for learning. My job requires a combination of people skills, writing and a love of the arts. Trained in art history (I have a masters degree from the University of California at Santa Barbara), I always thought that my only career choices would have been as a professor or museum curator. I sort of stumbled into the PR side of things and have worked in this field ever since. I was the Communications Associate Director and then Director at The Museum of Modern Art in New York for 11 years. That's when I had my children. In fact, at MoMA, I was the first woman with very young children ever to be promoted to department head. It was a very challenging balancing act at the time.
How did you keep a high-level position while having and caring for two children?
I threw a lot of money at the problem. I had a full-time nanny come to my home for pretty long days. My husband's schedule was more flexible, so at times he could be home with the kids - but I could never count on it. The basic baby/childcare responsibilities were mine. My worst times were when the babysitters quit; that's when my carefully constructed system would fall apart. The simple fact is that I struggled through it. As the kids got older, it got easier. I remember the relief I felt when my younger son could manage his own seatbelt.
I never fully appreciated the issue of women working for self-fulfillment. I was and have always been in this for financial survival. But at the same time, I wanted to do work that was meaningful and had some element of giving back, to improve the quality of life.
Did you feel guilty leaving your children for work?
Very early on in my career, I made a conscious decision to not feel guilty for being away from my kids. I know that I have always done the very best I can for them. That's not to say that I don't miss them or wish I could spend more time with them. But it's not guilt.
As a single parent, you shoulder the main responsibility for your kids. How do you manage that along with your career?
I've been a single parent for about five years now. But then I've mostly been the primary breadwinner, even when I was married. I have a wonderful support system. My mother helps out with the kids and helps with important extras, like their summer camp. Believe it or not, when I have to travel for business, my children's father (who lives several hours away) comes and lives in my home … providing total back-up for the kids; he's kind and loving and never disappoints them. In fact, the last time I went away on a business trip, I came home to new sliding glass doors out to my deck that my not-quite-ex-husband had installed while I was gone!
Other than that, I'm the queen of fast dinner preparation. I can make dinner when I get home from work in less than 10 minutes. The babysitter does the laundry, and if you look really closely at the house you'll see it's not as clean as it could be. And, where I really fall behind is on the paperwork to keep our lives going…but we manage! My sons are going to sleepaway camp for the first time this summer, and the thought of all the preparation that has to go into sending them can overwhelm me. But maybe it also has to do with the adjustment I'll need to make to not seeing them for a month….
With all of this, how do you make time for yourself?
I have no midweek life to myself: my day starts at 6 a.m. and doesn't end until after 10 p.m. But I do enjoy the two weekends a month that are mine when my kids go to their dad's house. In the beginning, it was very hard to send them and be alone after being in the center of our family for so long…but now I never have a problem having that time for myself.
What do you consider your greatest personal achievement?
There is nothing more important to me than having my kids succeed in life, in giving them the tools to be successful. One of my sons was diagnosed with ADD when he was in the 6th grade. I had him evaluated and arranged for lots of intervention at his school. His whole attitude improved and things got much better. The whole experience brought us closer together.
And your professional achievement?
I have a great sense of already having accomplished quite a bit. At MoMA, I contributed significantly to breaking through some barriers to attracting lots of people who might not feel comfortable in a modern art museum. I launched some significant ad campaigns that mixed up lots of different kinds of people in different settings, and it was an immediate success: numbers swelled, especially among young people. At this stage in my career, it's less about climbing a ladder than about being involved in work that thoroughly engages me. I have a profound connection to the arts, and I feel privileged to be working at a foundation that supports that - I am working close to my passion.
What's your best advice to other single-working moms?
I would say that the one most important thing is to ask and seek help! In your time of need, pick up the phone! I have wonderful friends, a friendship with my children's father and a wonderful relationship with my mother, my brothers and their families. To me, it's all about keeping up relationships.
Holidays and vacations are the hardest time, so I try to keep up traditions with my extended family. I choose vacation spots for my boys and me that include adult companionship for me. I keep connected to community and people.
One of the positive sides of all of this is that kids of single parents seem to think of their parents more as individuals. When you feel isolated and the weight of the world on your back and no one to hand off responsibilities to, your kids come through in major, important ways. My boys, for example, really can give me a little private time. They become somewhat more respectful of my needs as a human being. Did I mention that they were pretty wonderful guys?
Finally, don't forget to have fun - you have to make a special effort to keep fun in your life!
• Submit a nomination for Executive Mom of the Month
• April's Mom of the Month: Laura Wallen
• March's Mom of the Month: Jacqueline Goetter
• February's Mom of the Month: Lynne Bruce
• December's Mom of the Month: Brenda Kouwenhoven
• October's Mom of the Month: Jayne Gershkowitz
• September's Mom of the Month: Ann Higgins
• August's Mom of the Month: Peggy Garcia
• July's Mom of the Month: Maria Vidal
• June's Mom of the Month: Patricia Campbell