Ask the Work at Home Expert

Shawn Mason Spence, MA, is the owner of inPower Multimedia Group LLC which specializes in providing coaching and marketing support for entrepreneurs, writers and academic professionals. She is the author of "Just Work it!: 5 key steps to turning passion into profit" which is available at justworkit.net. Shawn is a speaker, former college instructor and writer for The Parenting Post.

Question: How do I work at home without feeling guilty?

Answer: I have found that many decisions mothers make that appears on some level to be for themselves ends up evolving into guilt and you have to first evaluate why is guilt the end result for you. I don't think that everyone arrives at guilt for the same reason. What are your reasons for feeling guilty?

First evaluate where the guilt comes from. Is it coming from you comparing yourself to another mom who seems to have a better relationship with their children? Is the guilt coming from negative comments made by loved ones about you being selfish, inconsiderate, not there for them? Once you pinpoint the source of the guilt, you can start to evaluate why you feel this way and how to change those thoughts that lead you to feeling bad for yourself. Try not to let external factors-societal norms, other people, financial pressures influence your self worth and your self-esteem. You have control over how you react to changes in your household situation and you teach those around you how to respond or how to push your buttons to get a reaction out of you. Most moms would say the lack of adequate time with the kids.

Here are some great tips to help you feel better about the time you have to spend with your kids:

  • I encourage you to commit to working hours and playing hours. Every business works on a schedule and like every business, a well-ran house needs a schedule too. Establish a set amount of time that you are able to spend with your children and give them your undivided attention.

  • Choose the activities you LOVE and share the rest with your spouse or with the older children. I love nighttime stories and family prayer. My husband takes over the baths and the kitchen clean up. On the days that the deadlines are really bad, I bring in the replacements-my 11-year-old daughter and my 8-year-old son. They have to "perform" the stories for added effect and for that touch of specialness so the little ones don't "miss" Mommy. Complete with costumes, microphones and music, the replacements have a great time and Mommy gets to put the finishing touches on the articles before they're submitted.

  • Know when your work is affecting you emotionally and have some plans in place to pull back and regroup. Another reason that guilt may sit in for you is that you're not yourself and you feel edgy, irritated. Listen to what your family is saying and have them point to specific instances in which you just weren't yourself. If you agree, then sit and think about what triggered this moment and what would you have done differently. If you disagree with what your family has said, then explain to them that your entire family has make adjustments and sacrifices so that you can run your business. It may even help if your children could help work with you in your business, so they can feel apart. My children love cutting out articles or filing papers. This way you all are working together toward the same-Happy Mom, Happy Home.