Busy Bodies: Is Your Child Overbooked? By Gwen Moran School, soccer, dance, scout meetings, household responsibilities, family issues -- today's children are bombarded with activities and responsibilities. If you feel that your child needs a personal assistant to find a few extra minutes in the day, it may be time to cut back, according to child psychiatrist and author, Dr. Elizabeth Berger. Her book, "Raising Children with Character: Parents, Trust, and the Development of Personal Integrity," addresses the issue of today's overbooked child. "I observe a great many children who seem involved in a structured activity for most of the day and at younger and younger ages," explains Berger. "There is much too much of this. Children need a lot of empty time to consolidate, to dream, to become rich inside." It's something that concerns Theresa Ayers. In addition to meeting the demands of fifth grade, her 12-year-old daughter is involved in cheerleading, basketball, ceramics and Girl Scouts. When the activities come into conflict with schoolwork, however, Ayers will intervene and keep her daughter from attending more than one activity on a school night. "She gets relieved because I'm the one making that decision," says Ayers. "She wants the praise, the approval to do what's expected of her and to do what's right. I'm giving her permission to give herself a break. And if the coach or anyone has a problem with that, they are confronting me about it." Silvana Clark, an author of three parenting books, makes a concerted effort to maintain free time in her daughter's life. However, as a published author since the age of eight, Sondra Clark is a young person in high demand. Now 11, Sondra is working on her third book and is a frequent speaker and media spokesperson. "Parents often think 'Oh, my child will be left behind if they don't know ballet, soccer and everything," she says "They're driving kids to tournaments hours and hours on the weekend. The whole family's life is scheduled around that one child. The focus shouldn't be solely on one kid. It should be balanced within the family." In addition to writing and speaking, Sondra participates in Girl Scouts and a theater group. Silvana suggests that when children ask to add new activities to their busy schedules, parents require them to take action to do so, such as to research prices for the activity or write down five reasons why they want to join the activity. If the child shows enough commitment to follow through with those simple activities, it's an indication that there is a true interest in the activity. Still, there are some children who thrive on high levels of activity. Berger cautions against a "one-size-fits-all" solution. "Children differ from one another to a remarkable degree. Some are thick-skinned, others are shrinking violets," she says. "Children who have handled external stress well typically get a great deal of emotional support from a few highly significant adults." So, how do you know if your child's stress level is edging toward the danger zone? Some warning signs include high or increasing levels of anxiety, anger, aggression, sadness, bitterness, restlessness and hopelessness, according to Berger. Stressed children may show a lack of commitment to their own futures by acting recklessly, failing to progress toward academic goals or showing a general passivity toward life goals. Because specific warning signs depend on the developmental level of the child, it's important to know and recognize your child's particular behavior patterns. For example, a four-year-old may have paralyzing fears or an unhealthy fearlessness while an eight-year-old may be moody and irritable, cruel or wildly destructive. Spending more one-on-one time with the child, doing simple activities can help parents spot warning signs. In addition, because children imitate those around them, Berger cautions parents to watch their own behavior in relation to stress and prioritization. Finally, remember that too many structured activities can inhibit a child's ability to interact meaningfully with others by limiting the free time that he or she has to think, play and create. In addition, Berger says that today's academic demands, including the volume of homework that many children receive, are becoming increasingly challenging. Therefore, it is important to monitor the child's ability to manage schoolwork levels and use that information when determining whether or not to schedule another activity. If a child shows a true desire to try a new activity, it's important to foster those interests. Still, too much structure, say both Berger and Clark interferes with the need for children to play. Also see: • Managing morning madness • How can you be in two places at once? • Ask the scheduling expert Gwen Moran is a freelance writer and entrepreneur. She is a frequent contributor to BlueSuitMom.com