Emotional Wellness
Mary Symmes is the founder of Self Investment Strategies and a life coach devoted to the empowerment of working women. Mary is also a clinical social worker in Alexandria, Va. Visit her Web site at SelfInvestmentStrategies.com

Dealing with Depression and PMS

Question: I really feel I suffer extremely from PMS and also from depression. I was encouraged to read your previous article but have a few questions. My doctor tried putting me on 4 different anti-depressants but all had side effects from dizziness, nausea, sleeplessness, and yawning. He also suggested exercising and eating balanced meals. It seems like I can do good for a few days then fall back into no exercise and eating snacks routine. I have trouble staying motivated but am really tired of feeling down and out. Can you offer suggestions for me to stay motivated to exercise and eat right. We're also wanting to have another child but sometimes I don't feel like I even have enough energy to be pregnant, work, and take care of our 3 year old. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Julie

Answer: Dear Julie,
You really sound so miserable, and I am sorry to hear you had such a bad time with side effects! I have a couple of suggestions for you, but first have a question: Is the doctor who prescribed antidepressants for you a psychiatrist or family doctor? A psychiatrist would be worth a try (if you haven't already) because they have such a detailed knowledge of drugs they might be able to think of an atypical or uncommonly used medication that wouldn't have the same side effects.

Also, have you had a good physical lately? Sometimes physical ailments have the same kind of symptoms you report - especially thyroid and other endocrine disorders. Make sure you have ruled out a physical cause.

Do you get enough sleep? Most folks these days are chronically sleep deprived, and that not only makes you feel bad but is also dangerous for your health. If you are trying to get by on less than 8 hours a night, I would advise you to look very seriously at getting more sleep.

I agree with your doctor that exercise is very helpful for depression and general tension. If you can't do it on your own (boy, do I relate to that!), what about joining an exercise class or even hiring a personal trainer for a few weeks to get you started on a good routine? And make sure you are doing exercise you enjoy - if you hate jogging, don't jog, and if you love aerobics or yoga, do that.

Do you have enough affection and support in your life? Are things o.k. between you and your husband? Do you have girl friends to talk to and play with? Do you take time for yourself? Sometimes, if you are working and have a small child, you can lose yourself. Make yourself as important as anyone else.

Do you like your job, or is it unsatisfying or very stressful? Is there unresolved stuff from the past that is getting in your way? If so, get a coach or therapist who can help you move out of your stuckness. You mentioned trying medication, but not therapy. You might be surprised at how helpful talking to an objective person can be.

I hope some of my suggestions are helpful to you. I know there is a solution for you somewhere, and hope you will give some good therapy a try.

Best wishes,
Mary

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    The above is for general information only and is not intended to substitute for professional mental health treatment. Individuals should consult licensed professionals as needed.