Emotional Wellness
Mary Symmes is the founder of Self Investment Strategies and a life coach devoted to the empowerment of working women. Mary is also a clinical social worker in Alexandria, Va. Visit her Web site at SelfInvestmentStrategies.com

Fears About Following a Passion

Question: My question has to do with career fears. I want to write, am working on a novel, and have published a story. But I cannot sit down to work without feeling very guilty, as my husband supports me and we don't have children yet. It does not bother him, but my very part time job as a therapist leaves me feeling isolated and un-confident. Argh! - Beth

Answer: Your initial sentence says it all - "fears." My guess is that you are afraid you are not good enough/won't be successful as a writer. Or maybe you will just never make any money at it. You are afraid of committing yourself totally to your passion. You are afraid of being so dependent on your husband. Whatever you are doing as a therapist is depleting your psychic energy and making you feel ineffective at that. Is it a pattern for you to be a perfectionist or to always feel anxious about being good enough? Do you feel you have to prove yourself somehow to justify your husband taking care of you for awhile? Do you have trust and dependency issues in general?

If you haven't been in therapy before, I suggest you start now. I think every therapist should have him/herself well worked on before they begin to practice. We become therapists for all kinds of reasons, not all of them as healthy as they should be. I further suggest that if your job is bringing you down you should get another one. Even a job out of your field that makes you feel good and that has more contact with people who stroke you would be useful. Have fun at work, for Pete's sake! Build more fun and laughing into your life. Join a writers' support group, or a women's group of some kind.

You are in an ideal position to make lasting positive change in your life, and I hope you will begin it now. You are obviously smart, creative, and have insight. Take care of your problems now before they have a chance to distort and limit your life for years to come. I really wish you the best.

Mary Symmes

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    The above is for general information only and is not intended to substitute for professional mental health treatment. Individuals should consult licensed professionals as needed.