Emotional Wellness
Mary Symmes is the founder of Self Investment Strategies and a life coach devoted to the empowerment of working women. Mary is also a clinical social worker in Alexandria, Va. Visit her Web site at SelfInvestmentStrategies.com

Strained Family Relationships

Question: I just found out that my older brother just got a SECOND DWI and has had his license taken away. He has always drunk a lot but never got involved with the law. My parents aren't speaking to him. What can I do?

Answer: Your brother obviously has a drinking problem and may well be an alcoholic, probably in the middle stage. Any addiction or compulsive behavior in a family member always causes tremendous anxiety in the rest of the family, and that is what you are experiencing now.

I strongly suggest you attend some ALANON meetings. ALANON is a support group for the friends and family of alcoholics and is a wonderful place to get both information and compassionate understanding. Everybody at a meeting will know exactly how you feel, and will share their "experience, strength, and hope" with the group as they deal with their addicted loved one. All meetings are different, so try 3 or 4 before you decide ALANON isn't for you. You can find the local service center in your phone book, and they will be able to tell you what meetings are most convenient for you. Call today, and see if you can get your parents to go with you!

There are a lot of good books available for so-called codependents, so have a look and see what speaks to you. "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beatty is an older but good one, as is "Under the Influence" by Milam and Ketcham. And official ALANON literature is very useful, too. Good luck to you.

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    The above is for general information only and is not intended to substitute for professional mental health treatment. Individuals should consult licensed professionals as needed.