Emotional Wellness
Mary Symmes is the founder of Self Investment Strategies and a life coach devoted to the empowerment of working women. Mary is also a clinical social worker in Alexandria, Va. Visit her Web site at SelfInvestmentStrategies.com

Too much stress

Question: I find myself committing to everything and everyone. I know I'm getting a lot accomplished, but I acknowledge that I'm not very good at rewarding myself for all this hardwork. What are some ideas that might help me make the time & effort to reward myself? - Patrece

Answer: It's interesting to me that you ask how to reward yourself for your hard work, rather than focusing on how not to make so many commitments and not work so hard! You might want to consider looking at that.

My guess is that you commit to everything and everyone because in some way you are afraid to say no, to set limits, to risk angering or disappointing someone. Similarly, you don't find the time or make the effort to reward yourself because you are too driven to please others to pay attention to yourself. A very wise woman once told me that if you don't take care of yourself, NO ONE ELSE WILL. Ever. So how to get started?

Schedule time for yourself. Actually write it in your daytimer or whatever so you don't plan to do anything else at that time. Pick things that you like to do that refresh and inspire you. Doing something physical is helpful to body, mind, and spirit.

Try to think about yourself as someone you have committed to help have a more enjoyable life, and plan things for her! And consider talking to someone about why you always come last. It's worth it!

Click here for more advice on how to make time for yourself

Mary Symmes

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    The above is for general information only and is not intended to substitute for professional mental health treatment. Individuals should consult licensed professionals as needed.