Balance and Your Marriage

By Sandi Epstein

One very important component of the balancing act is finding time for your spouse. A healthy marriage is one of the most valuable gifts you can give your children and yourself. Unfortunately, many of us relegate our marriage to the end of the list of priorities.

So how do you find the time for your relationship? The secret is in the scheduling. Without planning in the time for each other too often it just doesn't happen. Here are a couple ideas:

Regular Check-Ins
Take time to relate thoughts, share experiences and review the next day or week schedule each night. This check-in time last no longer than 5 to 10 minutes. Agree on when you can take the 5-minute break - while doing dishes, right after the kids are asleep or right before bed. This brief check-in keeps both of you in-sync.

Weekly Dates
Make a date every week for dinner or an afternoon lunch. This is time when you can talk about the bigger picture or just enjoy each other. If hiring a baby sitter every Saturday night is too difficult, try sharing sitting nights with friends to trade off your date nights. If evenings don't work for you, lunches can be a nice treat instead.

A week away from the kids with your spouse once per year can rejuvenate your marriage and your energy to be great parents. Lodging the kids with relatives or hiring a teacher from school can give your kids time to build other relationships as well.

What I hear on the street is that too few people are taking care of their marriage relationship. If you can't do it for yourself, then think of your kids.

For more ideas on how to find balance in your life see some of Sandi's previous articles:
Ten steps for finding balance
Simplify your life to focus on what you care about
What does a working mom need? Support and a road to getting it
Find joy not stress in the balancing act
Ask the Work/Life Coach
More articles about work and family balance

Sandi is a professional coach helping people to achieve their best in life. You can email her at or visit her Web site at